School: Druim Mór

Dromore, Co. Sligo
Seosamh Ó Catháin

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Dean Swift and the Coachman

Archival Reference

The Schools’ Collection, Volume 0167, Page 0402

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Dean Swift once advertised for a Coachman. Three men presented themselves for the job. The Dean interviewed them one by one. He asked the first man how near he would go to another coach when passing it out. "I could go within six inches of it and still not touch it." "That will do" said the Dean. He called in the second man and asked him the same question. "I would just fly by it and still not touch it". The Dean dismissed him also and called in the third man and asked him the same question. "I would keep away as far as I could" said the third man. "you are the man I am looking for and tomorrow we set off for Dublin." That night the Coachman slept with the Dean. When both woke in the morning the Dean adressed the Coachman saying "Good morning Paddy, how did you sleep at my feet". Paddy answered, "Good morning Dean, how did you sleep at my feet". Now the Dean realised that Paddy was as smart as himself. They set off for Dublin. After driving some miles they halted at a roadside Inn. The horses were let graze on the lawn while both had their dinner. The Dean had his dinner upstairs and when he had finished he brought down a plate of bones to Paddy. When he saw the disgusted look on Paddy's face he said to him. "The nearer the bone the sweeter the meat". Paddy now thought this a little too fresh and decided to have one over on the Dean for it. He left the Inn caught the Dean's horses and tied them with their noses to a rock. When they were about to leave the Dean became enraged when he saw his horses were tied. He asked Paddy why

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Seosamh Ó Catháin
Dromore West, Co. Sligo
John Fox
Farranmacfarrell, Co. Sligo