School: Ballyduff B. N. School

Location:
Ballyduff, Co. Kerry
Teacher:
Tadhg Ó Leathlobhair
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The Schools’ Collection, Volume 0415, Page 157

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The Schools’ Collection, Volume 0415, Page 157

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  1. XML School: Ballyduff B. N. School
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  3. XML “Local Funny Story - No Police in Heaven”

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  1. There was a man who lived in Ardoughter some years ago, and his name was Dan Connor. He was going to Listowel one day on foot, when he met the R. I. C. Sergeant, who said to him, "Dan, you seem to be in a great hurry". "Yes I am", said Dan. "I am going for iron hoops for my mangolds". "Are they so large", said the sergeant. "Oh, a terror", said Dan, and went his way. In the course of a couple of weeks, the sergeant called around to see Dan's garden of mangolds, and he said that they would make nice corks for bottles. He went to the door and called out Dan. "Dan", said he you'll never see the sight of Heaven. "No, nor you won't", said Dan. "How do you say that", said the sergeant. "Oh", said Dan, "there did a man die in this townland six months ago and went right for Heaven, but when he got there St. Peter wouldn't leave him in. When he saw Heaven was such a beautiful place, he didn't want to turn away from it, so he threw in his hat and St. Peter had to open the gate to let Dan in for his hat". When Dan got in St. Peter couldn't put him out for there were no sergeants nor police in Heaven.
    Transcribed by a member of our volunteer transcription project.
    Topics
    1. genre
      1. verbal arts (~1,483)
        1. jokes (~6,086)
    Language
    English
    Informant
    Mrs Thomas Leehy
    Gender
    Female
    Address
    Cloghane, Co. Kerry